Looking for the Mustard Seed

There is a Buddhist wisdom tale about a mother who came to see the Buddha after her young son had died. She was understandably distraught and, holding her young son in her arms, came asking the teacher to do something to bring her son back to life and relieve her suffering. The Buddha looked upon her with compassion. He then instructed the mother to bring him a mustard seed from a home that has not known suffering. If she could do this, he would restore life to her son.

The woman began to journey around the village, then the countryside and finally, into the wider world, all of the time looking for a household that had known no suffering. As she entered each village and talked to people living there she heard their stories of suffering, many equal to or greater than her own. At last, many months later, she returned to the great teacher. When asked if she had brought the seed she answered the Buddha, “No Master, I was unable to do as you asked. I now see why you sent me on this journey. Suffering comes to all of us. Being human means that suffering cannot be escaped. The only relief for our suffering is to cultivate compassion so that by sharing in the suffering of others we can bring a small amount of comfort to them and they to us.”

One of the ways we can cultivate compassion is by practicing what is called Commonalities. This means that instead of looking at the differences between ourselves and others, we focus instead on what we have in common.

Try this spiritual practice for the next week and see what happens. Each day choose a person from your life with whom you believe you have very little in common- even a person you can’t stand and wouldn’t want to be like. Picture that person in your mind, think their name and then say the following mantra, taking time at each step to really focus on and acknowledge the similarities they share with you.

1. Step 1: “Just like me, this person is seeking happiness in his/her life.”
2. Step 2: “Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in his/her life.”
3. Step 3: “Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair.”
4. Step 4: “Just like me, this person is seeking to fill his/her needs.”
5. Step 5: “Just like me, this person is learning about life.”

(This “Just Like Me” Commonalities practice comes from an article on Cultivating Compassion in the online manual, WikiHow, and is attributed to an article from Ode magazine. I was unable to find more information on the specific issue and date of the Ode magazine referenced. CLW)

Questions for Reflection:

(How) Does this practice change the way you feel about the individual people you chose to focus on each day?

(How) Does this practice change the way you react to new people who might rub you the wrong way?

(How) Does this practice change the way you feel about yourself?