Happy Halloween...Let's Play!

Let's face it.....most adult humans seem to have lost the desire to play. Somewhere in the process of growing up we learned that playing and being an adult doesn't go together. There are a few of us who persist at trying to infuse our days with play but I have observed that number to be few. ( I don't confuse irresponsibility or using "humor" to insult others with being maturely playful.)



I do think we long to be able to play but we can't allow ourselves what we think is the "luxury" to actually enjoy our play. When we do occasionally forget and have a good time playing we apologize and pay penance by working even harder. That's sad.  Play theorist Brian Sutton Smith once observed that "the opposite of play is not work. It's depression." I think that it might just be true that the more we remove healthy play from our lives, the farther we move away from healthy ways to deal with life. Play helps us to be creative in our problem solving, relieve stress, be flexible, and to be smarter.


Years ago I was planning an evening Vacation Bible School program at a church. The night  was to begin with a meal followed by fun activities for all ages, concluding with a short worship service. During the activity time I tried to plan fun workshops for all ages, hoping that even the adults would find something that called to them. One of the activities I put together was a table where adults could color. I had reproduced large line drawings of famous Bible stories and provided crayons and markers for the participants. The evening of the first session I watched adults look at the workshops offered and make their choices. I was amazed and pleased when I went to the room where the coloring pages were and discovered 6 men sitting around the table coloring, talking, and laughing. Each night after dinner those 6 men came back to color and laugh some more. At the end of the week they thanked me for putting that particular event together saying that they had enjoyed themselves and their companions and that it had been years since they had given themselves permission to play in that way. 




Maybe the adult need for play and our reluctance to seem silly by making time to play is the reason why Halloween is so popular with adults. Costume parties, pumpkin carving, and haunted houses for more mature audiences are in abundance in October.  More than at any other time in the year, adults have permission to dress up and act silly and play at Halloween. What would our lives be like if we incorporated some kind of play into our schedule every week?  With all of the reminders to exercise one might think people would be playing but I suspect that for many of us, exercise has become another chore, like work- something to be endured and do "because it is good for us" but not to be enjoyed.

The trick of it all is to live a balanced life that includes fun and creativity. Maybe this Halloween season is the time to make a promise to treat ourselves to laughing and playing more.

'It is a happy talent to know how to play."
Ralph Waldo Emerson




"It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them."
Leo F. Buscaglia


"Play is the exhulatation of the possible."
Martin Buber


"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."George Bernard Shaw


"Play is a major avenue for learning to manage anxiety. It gives the child a safe place where she can experiment at will, suspending the rules and constraints of physical and social reality. In play, the child becomes master rather than subject.....Play allows the child to transcend passivity and to become the active doer of what happens arounds her."
Alicia F. Lieberman, author of The Emotional Life of a Toddler

The Magic of a Story

Stories are a magical part of being a human. I don't know if other life forms or species have stories they share, but I hope they do. A story has the ability to transcend age and intellect and get to the heart of the matter. I happen to think that sharing stories is the most important things humans do. It is why we make the choices we do about life partners, occupations, where we live, and how we spend our time. Our story is the most important thing we have to share- for it is in sharing our stories that we truly share our heart.

In Zen Buddhism there is a way of teaching known as a koan.....pronounced "koe - on".  A koan is a story, statement, a question - a paradox- that cannot be understood from a rational dissection but may be able to be understood through intuition and spiritual knowledge......(that explanation in itself may be a koan to some of us.) An example of a famous koan is: "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" It is somewhat of a spiritual word puzzle. And....there's no one "right" answer, for the answer is different for each of us, according to our understanding of ourselves and our world.

There is a story I read years ago that has become a kind of koan for me. I think about it often and love to chew on it. I share it here as a spiritual puzzle for you to contemplate. If you wish to share your insights in the comments section that would be delightful, but above all, enjoy your ponderings as you swim in the holy water of wonder and life.

A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry travler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.

The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the woman.

"I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back to you in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone."

 

I Wonder as I Wander....

“We are so impressed by scientific clank that we feel we ought not to say that the sunflower turns because it knows where the sun is.





It is almost second nature to us to prefer explanations . . . with a large vocabulary. We are much more comfortable when we are assured that the sunflower turns because it is heliotropic. The trouble with that kind of talk is that it tempts us to think that we know what the sunflower is up to. But we don't. The sunflower is a mystery, just as every single thing in the universe is.”  
 Robert Farrer Capon
Sunflower photo by Susan Murphy

“People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering.”

Augustine

  




"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed." 
Albert Einstein

Waiting is Difficult

We don't like to wait
(except for good things like Christmas and childbirth and vacations- waiting times that are filled with delicious daydreams about what we will actually experience when the joyful time arrives)
but, even with our dislike of the process, there are many times when we are called to wait- or at least shown that it would be the prudent course of (non) action.
At those times, the excruciating discomfort of cooling our jets and finding something else to do with our energy can be mentally and even physically challenging.





Several years ago when I was going through a painful time in my life I read the book, When the Heart Waits, by Sue Monk Kidd.  The subtitle of her book is spiritual direction for life's sacred questions.  In that book I found much wisdom to get me to take a few healthy steps in the direction of wholeness. I have gone back to When the Heart Waits many times since then to read again her words of wisdom. Today those words are calling to me yet another time. May they help you also, dear spiritual pilgrim, on whatever journey you are called, to take a few healthy steps in the direction of wholeness today.



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"Crisis, change, all the myriad upheavals that blister the spirit and leave us groping-- they aren't voices simply of pain but also of creativity."


When we are asked to wait... "we're asked to collaborate with grace.
That doesn't mean grace isn't a gift. Nor does it mean the deliberate process of waiting produces grace. But waiting does provide the time and space necessary for grace to happen. Spirit needs a container to pour itself into. Grace needs an arena in which to incarnate. Waiting can be such a place, if we allow it."


"Transformations come only as we go the long way round, only as we're willing to walk a different, longer, more arduous, more inward, more prayerful route."


"Where is our willingness to incubate pain and let it birth something new?...
Creativity flourishes not in certainty but in questions."


"The natural gradient in us is toward growth. Whatever we use repeatedly and compulsively to stop growth is our particular addiction....Darting through life at a progressively increasing speed diverts us from deeper realities. Likewise, latching onto easy, quick-fix solutions becomes a way of escaping the slow pain of uncertainty and self-confrontation. It helps us to avoid the misery of wading through the inner mire toward change.

The quick and easy path is an "acceptable" way of avoidance, and one that can hold enormous power over us. We might complain (though that complaint is often hard to distinguish from boasting) of how pushed and hurried we feel, but we can't seem to extricate ourselves from the frenzy. We're unable to truly see that 'there is more to life than increasing its speed' as Ghandi put it........
....I had to face the fact that my inability to wait was symptomatic of something amiss in my soul."

"Contemplative waiting is consenting to be where we really are. People recoil from it because they don't want to be present to themselves." 
Brother Anthony at the Abbey of Gethsemani




"Entrainment is the phenomenon of two rhythmic things gradually altering their movements until they're moving together in the same rhythm. Pendulums hanging on the same wall do it; crickets do it when they chirp; even people do it when they talk. The point is we tend to align ourselves wiht the rhythm and pace around us. If you want to stay in your waiting, you'll need to refrian from the frantic pace around you. The important thing is to be still." 
Dr. Beatrice Bruteau




"When we learn to wait, we experience where we are as what is truly substantial and precious in life. We discover, as T. S. Eliot wrote,  "A lifetime burning in every moment."

Indra's Net

"Far away in the heavenly abode of the great god Indra, there is a wonderful net which has been hung by some cunning artificer in such a manner that it stretches out infinitely in all directions. In accordance with the extravagant tastes of deities, the artificer has hung a single glittering jewel in each "eye" of the net, and since the net itself is infinite in dimension, the jewels are infinite in number. There hang the jewels, glittering like stars in the first magnitude, a wonderful sight to behold. If we now arbitrarily select one of these jewels for inspection and look closely at it, we will discover that in its polished surface there are reflected all the other jewels in the net, infinite in number. Not only that, but each of the jewels reflected in this one jewel is also reflecting all the other jewels, so that there is an infinite reflecting process occurring."

Francis H. Cook   in Hua-Yen Buddhism: The Jewel Net of Indra

“The important element is the way in which all things are connected. Every thought and action sends shivers of energy into the world around us, which affects all creation. Perceiving the world as a web of connectedness helps us to overcome the feelings of separation that hold us back and cloud our vision. This connection with all life increases our sense of responsibility for every move, every attitude, allowing us to see clearly that each soul does indeed make a difference to the whole.”
by Emma Restall Orr

Monkey Mind

"Many so-called enlightened people regard this frequent offering of one and the same prayer as useless and even trifling, calling it mechanical and a thoughtless occupation of simple people. But unfortunately they do not know the secret which is revealed as a result of this mechanical exercise; they do not know how this frequent service of the lips imperceptibly becomes a genuine appeal of the heart, sinks down into the inward life, becomes a delight – becomes, as it were, natural to the soul, bringing it light and nourishment and leading it on to union with God."  --from "The Way of a Pilgrim"




Lately my mind has been so busy with chatter that I find it extremely difficult to sit down and write anything meaningful so I have shied away from this blog. Today, as I again pondered topics and spiritual themes, I remembered that one of the ways I decide what to write about is to ask myself what I need to hear most, realizing that others might benefit from that message as well.  I'm sure some of you reading this have moments/days/weeks where you have a difficult time quieting your mind. Sometimes there is a lot of noise in there.


In Buddhism there is a state referred to as "monkey mind." It means a mind that is unsettled and restless. The term is used to refer to a person who has difficulty settling down to meditate- often a beginner. It is called monkey mind because instead of staying in the present, the mind jumps around from subject to subject in the same way that young monkeys jump excitedly from tree to tree.


Buddhist practices suggest that the way to tame this monkey mind is to make time in your day to practice some form of meditation. Many teachers recommend meditating just 20 minutes a day.




"To develop your concentration, you may want to start by focusing on the breath while you meditate. Whenever your monkey mind starts acting up, observe your thoughts and then return your focus to your breath. Some breathing meditations call on you to focus on the rise and fall of the breath through the abdomen, while others have you concentrate on the sound of the breath.
Fire can also be mesmerizing, and focusing on a candle flame is another useful tool for harnessing the mind. Keep the gaze soft and unfocused while observing the color, shape, and movement of the flame, and try not to blink. Close your eyes when you feel the need and continue watching the flame in your head.
Chanting, devotional singing, and mantras also still the mind. However you choose to tame the monkey mind, do so with firm kindness. The next time the chattering arises, notice it and then allow it to go away. With practice, your monkey mind will become quiet and so will you."
(from Daily Om: Nurturing Mind, Body & Spirit   www.dailyom.com)




It might seem strange to make time in the day to sit quietly when the mind is jumping around but it works.


I like to use a mantra to still my mind. A mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that is considered capable of "creating transformation."  Some people believe that mantras are sacred sounds that have no exact translation but instead create vibrations that correspond to what amounts to a spiritual radio frequency. These mantras are one word or a short phrase used to create this sacred sound. Mantras are said silently in the mind and also chanted aloud.


Words used as mantras with no exact translation are called 'seed mantras' because they are used to create- grow- spiritual energy. The word OM (ome) is a popular mantra and symbolizes the sound of the universe.


Some people believe that it is less important what words a person uses and more important that they cultivate the spiritual practice of using a mantra. To these practitioners, any healing and meaningful words chanted over and over as a way to loosen the hold of thought on the mind can be used as a mantra.


The spiritual teacher Eknath Easwaran says:

"A mantra is a powerful spiritual formula, which when repeated silently in the mind, has the capacity to transform consciousness. There is nothing magical about this. It is simply a matter of practice. The mantra is a short, powerful spiritual formula for the highest power that we can conceive of – whether we call it God, or the ultimate reality, or the Self within. Whatever name we use, with the mantra we are calling up what is best and deepest in ourselves. Once you have chosen your mantra, do not change it. If you do, you will be like a person digging shallow holes in many places, you will never go deep enough to find water. A mantra is most effective when repeated silently in the mind."

SUGGESTED MANTRAS:

from the Buddhist tradition:

Om mani padme hum   (“The jewel in the lotus of the heart”)

 

Namu Amidabutsu   (“I put my faith in the Buddha of infinite light”)

from the Christian tradition:

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me   (Known as the Jesus Prayer)

Kyrie eleison    (“Lord have mercy”; short form of the Jesus Prayer in Greek)

Gospodi pomilui   (“Lord have mercy”; short form of the Jesus Prayer in Russian)

Ave Maria

Hail Mary

Deus meus et omnia  (Latin)
My God and my all  (same as above but in English)

(This was the phrase used by Saint Francis in his prayers.)

Om Yesu Christu

from the Hindu tradition:

Rama

Haré Rama, Haré Rama
Rama Rama, Haré Haré
Haré Krishna, Haré Krishna
Krishna Krishna, Haré Haré

Om Sri Ram, jai Ram, jai jai Ram

Om namah Shivaya

Om Bhavani   (A mantram in honor of the Divine Mother)

 

from the Jewish tradition:

Barukh attah Adonai

Ribono shel olam  (“Lord of the universe”)

from the Islamic tradition:

Allah

 

Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim   (“In the name of Allah, the merciful, the compassionate”)

from the non-religious tradition:




Let there be peace on earth





Let peace begin with me






Bring light to the darkness of my heart